gratitude, grief, and giving back

On my way back home from my sister’s house and in preparation of Winter Storm Enzo, I saw a man standing on the side of the freeway defenseless against the harsh weather that was beginning to creep into Southeast Texas.

This wasn’t my first time seeing someone helpless on the street, and even as a child when I would see people in those conditions, my heart ached at what they were going through. I always thought that it could easily be any of us out there, and as an adult, I feel that thought more intensely.

The entire ride home I thought to myself why didn’t I have an extra blanket or coat or something to help that man. It was way too cold for anyone to be outside for more than five minutes and no telling how long he was out there. Worst of all, no telling if he’d have to stay outside throughout the night or longer.

Even as I’m writing this, and the storm has passed, my heart cries at the thought of the man, those in similar situations, and families and elders that have homes, but don’t have the proper insulation or resources such as food to manage blue-sky days, let alone emergencies like this.

The snow was beautiful and I was excited for people to enjoy what is seemingly becoming a less rare event - snow (that sticks!) in Southeast Texas. When I walked outside, my mind went back to when I was growing up. I remember during winter, sometimes when the wind blew too hard, our water heater would turn off. This caused my mother and I to have to boil water in order to bathe. I never shared this type of story to any of my friends, because when I was younger, I was embarrassed to describe such a situation to them in fear of being judged.

As an adult, I see these events in my childhood as giving me perspective. Experiencing certain situations primes you to look at things in a positive light, but more importantly, it helps build resilience.

It’s easy to go down a list of things that are not going the way we want in life. I’m better about shifting my mindset from what should be happening to being grateful for what is happening or has happened, but I’m also human, so it still takes effort in avoiding that rabbit hole.

Practicing gratitude is how I calibrate and find center within myself. In difficult times, I turn to reflecting on all the great things, and even the not-so great things, that have happened in my life. While we should certainly take time to reflect, mourn, and tap into those more uncomfortable feelings when things happen in our lives, I think it’s worth practicing gratitude to help us get back on our feet.

Growing up with a single mother who did the best she could (and that she absolutely did, rest her soul) and also Catholic, I have a strong sense of service and helping others. Service can be demonstrated in many ways. It can be as easy as buying someone you see on the street a warm meal or long-term like committing yourself to volunteer frequently or sit on a non-profit’s board.

I bring up my mother in this piece (which feels a bit scattered), because after she passed in October 2024, there was a certain part of me that awakened. I think my sense of serving others has always been there, but now as an adult and with the ability to give back in more ways in addition to my time, I feel called upon to do so.

I titled this piece “gratitude, grief, and giving back” because these things intertwine. I think that when we look at our lives, especially in the present as we have blood rushing through our veins and our lungs allowing us to breathe, thanking God (or the higher being we choose to believe in) for literally everything is the key to peace in this life.

Of course there are amazing moments in our lives that happen that we wish were the constant. No one desires pain, sadness, anger and other challenging emotions, but it is part of our existence. It is not to say that we should live by “well, things could be worse”, but more so understanding that nothing lasts forever and we all go through seasons in life that make up our stories here as physical beings.

This serves as a reminder for myself, and anyone reading, that being grateful for what we have and helping those in more severe seasons, will help us get through anything.